Thursday, October 29, 2009

Not so good news

Well we had our doctor visit today. The one we were holding on to being told we could have one more child with out worry. Well, that didnt happen. I burst into tears.

Basically the disorder I have hyperhomocystinima/MTHFR is worse than what we thought. Dr. Thompson was not comfortable at all telling me this. She knows how desperately we wanted another baby. Since some of the stuff she was looking at was almost 4 years old she has decided to send me to a hematologist here in town to see where I am now. I cant see him until January. I will go back to her two weeks after that appointment to see the results. If some of the numbers are better and we decide to try I have to go to Shreveport. I wouldnt be able to be seen here at home or deliver here. Everything would be done in Shreveport. Not only do I have to worry about being pregnant and forming clots, I would also have a much higher risk of placenta abruption. It could be really bad if I had to be on bed rest. Basically I was told that if we tried to have a baby there would be a good chance I wouldnt be here to help raise it or our wonderful son Jake. It is just now really hitting. I feel like I could curl up in a ball and cry for days. The fact that I am still here to begin with was a miracle she said. The c-section is very risky and the hospital stay after would be too. On top of that I found out that I am carrying staph in my body so I will be prone to infection. I picked that up from the hospital I delivered Jake at. I developed a fever the day after I had him and they kept me in the hospital on iv antibiotics for a week. Now, any wound/incision takes longer to heal. Dr. Thompson said she had never seen a case like mine before.
We are desperately praying for change. I know I have to turn this over to God. I have to figure out His plan. My plan may not be what He wants for our family.

Sunday, October 25, 2009


Nothing new has happened here lately. The adoption papers are being worked on. We are saving money and just waiting. It is so sad that people that desperately want children have to nearly go broke to adopt.
I have my doctors appointment on Thursday to see if anything is new on the clotting issue. I am nervous/excited at the same time. I really hope everything has gone back to normal and we can have another baby. I will let you know!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Now the first wait

Yes, I know. Still no pictures of Vegas. Sorry. We did turn in our paper work for domestic adoption and paper work for adoption from South Korea though! Now we are to wait for up to 2 weeks until we hear back from Bethany. Not sure what to expect next.
The main reason we chose South Korea is that we don't necessarily have to travel there. It will save some money in the long run. It was really expensive for 3 people to travel there and leaving Jake home wasn't an option. He would be going to meet his new sibling no matter what. I think that we may have to travel to Los Angles, but that is a lot better than Korea!
I have had one other person tell me that she sees us with a little girl from Korea. I really don't know if this is God trying to beat something into us or not. We will have to wait and see. I just want to hold a healthy child!
Love and hugs,

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

New News

Yes, I do realize I have yet to post one picture of our Vegas trip. Dont shoot me! I promise I will do some Friday. We have been very busy around here. I do have some good/exciting news though! But you will have to wait until the end for that. Here is a recap of whats been going on.
Jake started Kindergarten (home school) in September! We both absolutely love it. Some days have been a little more trying than others but it is great. He still gets plenty of friend time so he isn't missing out on anything. He is flying through his curriculum to the point I think I should have gotten the advanced one! Way to go ABEKA preschool!
I am still doing the monogramming and diaper cakes. I am a little reserved with the monogramming because I am so worried about messing up stuff. I think I am going to take a sewing class, but have to find one first!
Now, here's what you wanted to know. We have wanted another baby for a long time. I have been way over weight and wouldn't even think about it until I got some of the weight off. Along the way I had some major health issues. I was diagnosed with a blood disorder that caused me to clot to much. I nearly lost my life on Jake's first birthday. They said having another baby would be very dangerous and that I would have to take shots the whole time. I had to take them for the testing they did and hated them. I couldn't imagine taking them for 9 to 12 months twice a day! We have been praying for a long time about what to do. We both loved the idea of adoption but also know the cost, especially overseas. We narrowed agencies down and contacted Bethany Adoption Service. We received a copy of a preliminary application yesterday at 9am!
Now for the interesting part. Phone rings at 10:30. It is Dr. Thompson's office. The nurse said that the doctor had gotten all of my medical record from the hematologist in Little Rock and wanted to see me. Well, that has never been good in my experience. She said oh no, it is that the doctor doesn't know why you were supposed to be taking blood thinners. The test that we repeated isn't showing any problems. I didn't know what to say! Are you serious? I was told that this was genetic and wasn't going away. She said she didn't know what was going on but that she wanted to see me. I am going in on the 29th to see what she thinks. If that is the case then we could possibly be able to have a baby once I loose more weight. I do still have some other issues to deal with though from the c-section.
Pray for us. We know that God is telling us something and we just are not sure what yet. I dont know if we are supposed do both if able. Or do we just need to pick one path and stick to it. Keep us in your prayers as we go down one of these paths. Right now, I dont see how we can pay for even a domestic adoption. We havent saved for something like that and it scares me that we may find a baby but have to back away because of money.
Oh, a funny/weird note. A friend tonight was talking to me and doesnt know the story of our struggles and thinking on adoption. She was just talking away and then said I think you guys will get a baby from South Korea. I got goose bumps! That is the only country we selected on the international application!