It's late

It's late. I am tired. I have so much going on in my head right now. Sadness hits at the oddest times. Tired of dealing with kids that are so spoiled it is ridiculous. Tired of dealing with people that are so insensitive and have no clue. Did I mention I am tired.

I did go through my closet tonight and have two huge bags of clothes to take to goodwill. I am taking a bunch of other stuff too. Maybe getting rid of some of this will help me. I am ready to feel better. Praying that day will come. Some sort of healing. God is with me and I am aware of that. Thank you God for being there.

I am listening.

I am waiting.

Love this!

http://www.jewelryartdesigns.com/jewelry-jad.asp?p=Win-Jewelry&xref=www.shopaholicmommy.com
Someone will win 200 dollars!

The Road Ahead

Well, I will go back to the surgeon on Wednesday. I have been on some really nasty antibiotics 4 times a day. They are freaking horse pills and I dont swallow pills! I have been doing ok with them. Takes me a little bit and then I get it down. Sam has made so much fun of me. Oh well, he screams like a little girl if he sees a frog! Pay back baby.
Dr. Tompkins said that he wants to give the infection a month to try and heal before we talk about surgery. He wasnt aware of my clotting disorder at that appointment so that throws a whole nother kink in the situation of surgery. I am not even sure if I can have it here. So now we just wait on this part.
I have been doing ok with the news of having another baby. I have my days. I have had many wonderful friends that I have cried with and that has helped. We cant move forward with adoption right now because of finances. We have started up a fund for that. It breaks my heart that it cost so much to rescue these helpless babies out of orphanages or even from moms here that want a better future for their babies. Domestic adoption scares me to death thought. I have seen many families have nurseries ready and waiting only to have the baby ripped from them either at the hospital or a while after they come home. I had no idea that some states the mother has up to 1 year to change her mind! You have to be freakin kidding me. ONE WHOLE YEAR.
I am off to work on some curtains for a friend that is having twins in TWO weeks. Sweet baby girls, Gracie Jo and Avaleigh. I cant wait to hold them. I am hoping that it wont be to hard for me. Please keep my friend Peri in your prayers too! She is going to need them.
Love and hugs,
Jessica

Not so good news

Well we had our doctor visit today. The one we were holding on to being told we could have one more child with out worry. Well, that didnt happen. I burst into tears.

Basically the disorder I have hyperhomocystinima/MTHFR is worse than what we thought. Dr. Thompson was not comfortable at all telling me this. She knows how desperately we wanted another baby. Since some of the stuff she was looking at was almost 4 years old she has decided to send me to a hematologist here in town to see where I am now. I cant see him until January. I will go back to her two weeks after that appointment to see the results. If some of the numbers are better and we decide to try I have to go to Shreveport. I wouldnt be able to be seen here at home or deliver here. Everything would be done in Shreveport. Not only do I have to worry about being pregnant and forming clots, I would also have a much higher risk of placenta abruption. It could be really bad if I had to be on bed rest. Basically I was told that if we tried to have a baby there would be a good chance I wouldnt be here to help raise it or our wonderful son Jake. It is just now really hitting. I feel like I could curl up in a ball and cry for days. The fact that I am still here to begin with was a miracle she said. The c-section is very risky and the hospital stay after would be too. On top of that I found out that I am carrying staph in my body so I will be prone to infection. I picked that up from the hospital I delivered Jake at. I developed a fever the day after I had him and they kept me in the hospital on iv antibiotics for a week. Now, any wound/incision takes longer to heal. Dr. Thompson said she had never seen a case like mine before.
We are desperately praying for change. I know I have to turn this over to God. I have to figure out His plan. My plan may not be what He wants for our family.

update

Nothing new has happened here lately. The adoption papers are being worked on. We are saving money and just waiting. It is so sad that people that desperately want children have to nearly go broke to adopt.
I have my doctors appointment on Thursday to see if anything is new on the clotting issue. I am nervous/excited at the same time. I really hope everything has gone back to normal and we can have another baby. I will let you know!

Now the first wait

Yes, I know. Still no pictures of Vegas. Sorry. We did turn in our paper work for domestic adoption and paper work for adoption from South Korea though! Now we are to wait for up to 2 weeks until we hear back from Bethany. Not sure what to expect next.
The main reason we chose South Korea is that we don't necessarily have to travel there. It will save some money in the long run. It was really expensive for 3 people to travel there and leaving Jake home wasn't an option. He would be going to meet his new sibling no matter what. I think that we may have to travel to Los Angles, but that is a lot better than Korea!
I have had one other person tell me that she sees us with a little girl from Korea. I really don't know if this is God trying to beat something into us or not. We will have to wait and see. I just want to hold a healthy child!
Love and hugs,
Jessica

New News

Yes, I do realize I have yet to post one picture of our Vegas trip. Dont shoot me! I promise I will do some Friday. We have been very busy around here. I do have some good/exciting news though! But you will have to wait until the end for that. Here is a recap of whats been going on.
Jake started Kindergarten (home school) in September! We both absolutely love it. Some days have been a little more trying than others but it is great. He still gets plenty of friend time so he isn't missing out on anything. He is flying through his curriculum to the point I think I should have gotten the advanced one! Way to go ABEKA preschool!
I am still doing the monogramming and diaper cakes. I am a little reserved with the monogramming because I am so worried about messing up stuff. I think I am going to take a sewing class, but have to find one first!
Now, here's what you wanted to know. We have wanted another baby for a long time. I have been way over weight and wouldn't even think about it until I got some of the weight off. Along the way I had some major health issues. I was diagnosed with a blood disorder that caused me to clot to much. I nearly lost my life on Jake's first birthday. They said having another baby would be very dangerous and that I would have to take shots the whole time. I had to take them for the testing they did and hated them. I couldn't imagine taking them for 9 to 12 months twice a day! We have been praying for a long time about what to do. We both loved the idea of adoption but also know the cost, especially overseas. We narrowed agencies down and contacted Bethany Adoption Service. We received a copy of a preliminary application yesterday at 9am!
Now for the interesting part. Phone rings at 10:30. It is Dr. Thompson's office. The nurse said that the doctor had gotten all of my medical record from the hematologist in Little Rock and wanted to see me. Well, that has never been good in my experience. She said oh no, it is that the doctor doesn't know why you were supposed to be taking blood thinners. The test that we repeated isn't showing any problems. I didn't know what to say! Are you serious? I was told that this was genetic and wasn't going away. She said she didn't know what was going on but that she wanted to see me. I am going in on the 29th to see what she thinks. If that is the case then we could possibly be able to have a baby once I loose more weight. I do still have some other issues to deal with though from the c-section.
Pray for us. We know that God is telling us something and we just are not sure what yet. I dont know if we are supposed do both if able. Or do we just need to pick one path and stick to it. Keep us in your prayers as we go down one of these paths. Right now, I dont see how we can pay for even a domestic adoption. We havent saved for something like that and it scares me that we may find a baby but have to back away because of money.
Oh, a funny/weird note. A friend tonight was talking to me and doesnt know the story of our struggles and thinking on adoption. She was just talking away and then said I think you guys will get a baby from South Korea. I got goose bumps! That is the only country we selected on the international application!

GIveaway!

Yes, I know I dont need one right now! What's wrong with planning ahead. KozyPal Cart covers is giving away 2 50$ gift certificates! That means two winners! We used a cheap cart cover with Jake. It kinda did the job, but left me wanting the better ones. I was staying home so that was out of the question. Any way, go check out there site. I am tempted to get one for Jake and make him use it with all the sickness going around! Hey KozyPal, do you make covers for a 5 year old?! LOL
http://www.kozypalcartcovers.blogspot.com/

I am alive

I know it has been forever since I blogged! Sorry. After a WONDERFUL 2 week stay in Las Vegas it has been non stop since we got home. Plus our desktop crashed. I had the laptop but dont like it as much. I know I am a retard, but oh well. Now we are starting VBS at our church. I will post pics of Vegas soon. Hugs and have a wonderful Lord's day!

And we're off

Well, tomorrow will be a day of many first! We will leave for Las Vegas in the morning! Sam is going on a training trip so we will tag along. I am really excited. I have never been to Vegas before. Jake is just excited because he gets to ride in a plane for the first time. I have a ton of stuff printed off that we want to do. I kinda wish Sam and I had at least one week child free, but I will take it! Anyway, I better run and finish the packing. Sam is mad because I packed enough clothes for Jake and myself for the full two weeks. He wanted us to pack for one week and we could wash! I informed him that I don't do laundry on vacation! Since we had to pay to check our bag, I was going to take advantage of it!
Pray for us as we travel most of the day tomorrow. We will not fly back until July the 5th. Jake is also excited about seeing the fireworks in Vegas. I am sure they put on one heck of a show!
Jessica

tip junkie

Check out Tip Junkie



They are having awesome giveaways! GOtta hurry!

Oh my gravy!

Have I found the perfect website!! I rank it up there with Pioneer Woman cooks. This is mostly about SWEETS! Yes, I know that I am down 30 pounds and still going, but just looking at the pics wont hurt! Oh I pray that it wont! HA! Anyway, go check out this awesomely sweet site!

Friday mumbo jumbo

Sam has a tennis tournament in Little Rock this weekend. I am glad that some of the tennis stuff will be winding down. Between tennis and tball, I thought I was going insane! The storms that tore through Arkansas today delayed a lot of the playing this afternoon. I am not sure what he is up too. I know he better not be hanging out with friends that we never get to see anymore with out me! No there wasn't a tiny bit of bitterness in that statement was there! HA

I have started packing for our Vegas trip. Yes, I know that we don't leave until Sunday the 21st. I am just to excited not to do something. I have rounded up all the little things that we will need and have them ready. I am not one to wait and just chunk a bunch of stuff in at the last minute. I really hope TSA doesn't destroy all my makeup and stuff this time. I had to replace a lot of stuff when I got back from California a few years ago.

I will leave you with a funny pic of my long haired cutie! He refuses to cut his hair. And ya know what, I like it that way! OK never mind, blogger wont let me upload. Maybe they dont think he is as cute as I do!

cute giveaway

Can you say cute!!




I so have to learn how to do this or Sam is going to kill me. I think I am spending a little to much! HA! Anyway, its a really simple to enter. Well, you dont have too because I would like to win it!

Saturday rambling

We had a good day today! Jake slept until 9:30. I cant remember the last time that he slept that late. We have decided to redo our bathroom. YIKES! I don't think anything major has been done in there since my mom bought the house 20 years ago. Wish us luck.We spent the better part of the morning out looking for things with that. I found a bathroom cabinet that I love. It sits off the floor on pretty claw feet. Sam said he didnt like it because it would trap dirt underneath. I looked at him "and who is the one that cleans the house anyway!"
We met up at Chili's for lunch. I was really disappointed in them today. Our service stunk big time and some things have really changed on the menu. Well, at least on what I ordered! It took us well over an hour and they weren't even busy at all.

On a good note. I got an order in today for an appliqued shirt for a little boys 2nd birthday. I am making the 2 out of cars fabric and putting the checkered flags on back with his initials. I hope it turns out like I am seeing it. I will post pics Monday!
Have a blessed Sunday,
Jess

SUMMER!

Whew! School is OVER! I packed all my stuff and and now am going through it again. I am going to repack what I want to keep and take stuff back up to Trinity that they can use. I did cry a little the last two days of school. I am going to miss some of my parents and kids that I became really close with.

I am entering stay at home mom mode really easily. I have had two extra kiddos around this week so it hasn't really hit yet. I am really wanting to work on my house as soon as their momma gets done with her school year. I cant imagine having three all day and trying to keep an orderly house. Sorry Peri, it doesn't look good for you! HA! Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know that I am still here. I know I haven't posted in a LONG time. I am heading to bed so I can chase after three kiddos again tomorrow!
Jess

Gone fishin

I got a call last night about doing a diaper cake theme of fishing. I am so excited I havent done one of these yet! I have done tons of pinks and browns, blue and brown, safari and a lot of other ones. I am going looking for some things later this afternoon. I will post pics soon.

Oh I also wanted to share that I am going to learn to smock. I met a women and she wants to show me how its done. I am so excited. I think there is noting more clasic looking that an infant/toddler in a smocked outfit. I am going to be one busy lady.

30 days

I am so ready for this year to be over!! I cant wait to be at home with Jake. I am working on getting my room ready. I am going to pass a ton of stuff to Kayla just because I don't want to store it here at the house. I haven't picked out the curriculum for next year yet. I am not sure that I want to use abekka or not. I have many issues with it. Mainly that it isn't how a child learns. I am not a fan of tons of paperwork for a 5 year old. I think kids learn on their feet and with their hands. There comes a time for sitting in a chair and doing textbook stuff. He is already reading at mid Kindergarten level anyway! (GO JAKE)

Please keep us in your prayers as we are trying to figure out our plan for having a baby. I am trying to keep a positive attitude about everything and not let the devil get to me. I just cant get the biggest obstacle out of the way fast enough(weight.)

Wow

Well, I have been somewhat busy lately. I have had several orders for diaper cakes and monogramming that I have had to get out. I was asked to donate a diaper cake for the domestic violence prevention silent auction! Ashley saw my ad in ALT magazine. I am so excited about that one.I was busy during Easter with the monogramming! Lots of pretty Easter outfits came through.

My dear friend found out they are having a baby. She is really early and hasn't been to the doctor yet. I am so excited for her. They have been trying for a very long time to have their second baby, and God finally answered that prayer. I do have to admit that I am also sad that it wasn't me. I am praying that we can have one of our own soon as well. I still have a lot of weight to get off before that happens though. Plus the other issues that I have going on will make it a challenge to get pregnant and carry the baby safely. There will also have to be daily blood thinning shots thanks to my MTHFR2 disorder. It was a miracle that we had Jake with absolutely no complications. Sometimes I wonder if it is even right for me to ask for another baby since I have one perfectly healthy one and didn't loose my life in the process. We have prayed about adoption and both would love to adopt a baby. I just really pray that I can have one more. It makes me furious that some women(teens) will just keep having babies and not take care of them. I desperately just want to carry one more of our own.

Wow, I bounced around on that one didn't I! Sorry and thanks for sticking with me through it. Pray for us as we continue our journey we have no idea where God is taking us, but He does.
Jessica

Long time

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. It has been busy around our house. We had a wonderful Easter weekend despite the rain.
Sam had to leave again Easter for a 2 week training class in Vegas again. Jake is so excited becuse we get to go on the next on with him in June. This will be jake's first plane ride and he is already asking tons of questions! Sam enjoys going becasue he get to go hiking in at Red Rock. He has taken lots of beautiful pictures there.

I just wanted to let everyone know that we were still here since it has been forever! I will post more later.
Hugs
Jessica

God can do miracles

This family has been through so much in this sweet babys little life. They were told that Stellan would surley die in the womb, and that if he did live, he would die shortly aftet birth. God totally healed Stellan of all the heart problems and he was born 100%! PRAISE! Now, after falling ill this weekend, his heart has gone into SVT and continues to become more dangerous. I urge all that read this blog to go to their site and send them your prayers. Stealln sure needs them. She has written some amazing blogs about God's healing power.

cool giveaway!

Check out this cook giveaway for mineral make-up! Check it out. I want to win it so you dont have to! HA!
http://frugalmommyof2girls.blogspot.com/2009/03/sheer-miracle-50-gift-certificate.html

AHHHH Spring break

I am so loving this week. We took a road trip to Dallas to see family Sunday-Tuesday. I havent seen my grandparents in a year! Jake is the only great grandson so we try and get down as often as we can. I had some issues with my "father" so that prevented us from getting down there any sooner. I plan on taking it easy the rest of the week. Got some house work to do and then I will work on some monogramming. I am so ready to just be a mommy! I cant wait until school is out. Gotta run, washer is finished and will not unload itself!

I have been entering in some fun give away over at the SITS site. Here are some wonderful blogs I have found in the process of trying to score some cool loot.

she did it again!

Oh, I forgot to add that the lady I have had issues with all year did it again today! Well, kinda. There is NOTHING as nasty(seriously it was crap) as what I did Thursday. She came up to me at lunch today as I was setting out my kids trays. She NEVER gets there on time but she did today. She informed me that it was time that we sit down with our boss to discuss some things. She said that there was some tension there and she didnt know why! SERIOUSLY! Do I have to yell it louder next time. Do your job. I looked at her and laughed so hard I nearly wet myself. Needless to say there is some "tension" there.

Well, I have been thinking! Scary. I do tend to do it from time to time. I am wanting to have this awesome blog, but just discovered that I am quite boring. Yes. Ask my 4 year old. He will tell you. He will even add "I am not kidding Momma." I guess I should be doing a give away over as SITS
blog.http://www.thesitsgirls.com/2009/03/spring-fling.html That would make me cool! HEHE! Go check them out. THey have some really cool things out there. Even some that you and your hubby could enjoy together! ;p

Man, a lot has gone on since my last post. I have wondered what to post several times and just ended up not posting at all.

I lost my cool at work on Thursday. I really just dont understand some people. When you are hired for a job you get a job description. You sign a contract saying you understand those outlines. This person has yet to do what she has been expected or told to do. Schedules have changed 7 times to accommodate her and she still doesn't fully do what she is supposed to do. I just keep thinking if that were me then I would have been fired a long time ago. Anyway, we had an issue come up Thursday and I lost it. I mean I was so mad I was crying and saying exactly what I felt. I even told my boss that I was done and that I would finish what the ohter lady wouldnt do then I was going to go and pack up my room and go home. My boss came down and talked to me and just let me vent. I BAWLED. It had been buliding all year long. She told me to go home and rest and to come back Friday and not to worry aobut it. I am guessing I will have to have a meeting with all of them on Monday. I really dont care at this point. I have 49 days left of school and just plan on ridding it out.

Pray for me as I know I will have to talk to my bosses and more than likely that other person as well. God give me nice things to say!

The SITS

You have to go to this blog! They are giving away some awesome stuff! I really dont want you to enter because I want to win it, but go ahead. I have followed their site for a while and love it. Give 'em a look!
Jessica

http://www.thesitsgirls.com/2009/02/february-giveaway-bedroom-bliss.html

ALT Magazine

I was contacted today about advertising in ALT Magazine! I am so excited. This is just what I am looking for to really kick off my business once I get closer to staying home! It was an amazing feeling to hear that they thought my stuff was cute enough to have an add! Please PRAY that God continues to open those doors. We are planning on having an add in the April issue!

Happy birthday

Well, Sam had his not so surprise bday party tonight. He had a really great time though. I cant believe he is 30! That means that is what I am heading for in AUGUST! I am thinking 30 will not bother me. It is 31 that will kick me to the ground, stomp on me and leave me crying. Why do you ask. Well, you get to have a fun party at 30 (that everyone makes a big deal of) because you have hit the next huge milestone of birthdays. When you turn 31 it sinks in that whoa buddy, you are getting on up there. Plus the NEXT big one the you have will be 40! It seems like no one cares about 31 through 39. I say we should have a blowout party every year until 40! Enough of my rant. I havent even hit 30 yet. I am thinking I may take it harder now after this post! HA! Love you Sam and I am glad to have spent the last 10 birthdays with you!

Burp cloths

I finished half of an order for a friend today! Go me. I am cranking em out! HA! I thought they were cute and simple.
Sorry, I didn't rotate the pic. I have been really busy since I announced that I am home next year. I am really excited about this opportunity. Pray for me as I go along. I have prayed for a long time for God to send me a sign (other than my husband) what I needed to do. Let me just tell ya, when you ask for one you get hundreds! HA!

Next year

Hello! It has been a while. SOrry I have fallen of the blogging wagon. It has been crazy around here. I have been making stuff like crazy and trying to put my house back together. In all of that Sam and I have been doing some serrious thinking and praying about my work situation next year.
I am the type that loves being a stay at home mom. I take great pride in raising my child and keeping him close to me. I went back to work last year just to help a little with the bills. I have felt really guilty and like I wasnt taking care of my family like I should be. Jake went to Trinity with me and started the preschool program. He will be entering KINDERGARTEN next year! Sam and I have really been praying about this for a long time. We feel that I need to be home and will be homeschooling Jake next year!
I am really excited/scared all at the same time. I have my degree in education so it isnt the teaching part. There is just so much stuff/programs to choose from. Jake is really excited. He was very mad this morning that we had to go to school. He has said that he hates doing the papaer work at school. He is a smart cookie already. He is in his top reading group at school and is only 4 years old.
I will be a work at home mom this time. I feel this will help me get more done with my business. I will start making clothes along with the diaper cakes and monogramming. I will be one busy momma! At least my house wont look like a wreck!

Pray for Harper

I can't ask/plead with you enough to pray for this little girl. I understand what all Kelly went through when they were trying and the joy that she felt when she found out she was having Harper. Sam and I went through the same thing except for the ending. Jake was born healthy and screaming. Haper was not. She is still in critical condition, but rapidly improving. I have prayed for her countless times last night and today. Please take the time to say a prayer for the whole family. Our God is powerful and a wonderful healer.

Big news

I am so EXCITED! Peri and I will have a booth at Graham Crackers in Wake Village! She is going to have some clothing and socks and burp cloths. I will have clothing and burp cloths that are monogrammed. I am hoping to get my diaper cakes in there in the next couple of months. I am so excited. I am hoping that this is one step to many more childrens boutiques! Come and see us. We should be there by this weekend!
Jessica

First monogram

I finished a diaper cake for a customer and decided to try out the monogramming on the ribbon. Man, ribbon is tricky but I got it after the 3rd practice run. REMEMBER this is one of the first attempts.

The electricity went out momma

Hello all. We have had a wonderful break! I am getting really sad that the end is almost here. We went out to dinner tonight and had a wonderful time. Jake got an MP3 player for Christmas and has taken it everywhere. I dont let him take it out of the car because we all know what will happen at that point. I doubt I have to share the story of the lost monster truck in wal mart. On the way home he is in the back just humming along then we hear a GASP.

MOMMA THE ELECTRICITY WENT OUT ON MY 3PM PLAYER!

Just thought I would share. Not a deep moving blog, but toddler blog. Now I am off to replace the battery in the 3PM player. I hate to correct the 3PM because it is so funny to watch others figure out what the heck he is talking about!